This article presents a sample of criteria used by psychologists to evaluate families with emotional cutoffs.
Dr. Craig Childress, a Clinical Psychologist in the United States, utilizes established psychological principles to clarify how cross-generational trauma causes a child to reject a parent.
The Attachment Based “parental alienation” (AB-PA) model elucidates severe instances of emotional cutoffs. It is extensively detailed in ‘An Attachment-Based Model of Parental Alienation: Foundations’ with a summary available in ‘Strategic Family Systems Intervention for AB-PA: Contingent Visitation Schedule’. For a visual representation, check out a talk at the California Southern University School of Behavioral Sciences.
A child’s emotional cutoff from a parent signals significant family psychopathology. A thorough differential diagnosis is imperative to ascertain the underlying reasons for rejection. Important inquiries include:
- Could there be a neurological cause for the rejection, such as ADHD or Autism?
- Is the rejected parent abusive, or is the other parent manipulative, leading to the cutoff?
In cases where no neurological cause is found, investigating parenting practices is crucial to identify a healthy parent. Child abuse can harm the child’s attachment system, but typically, abusive parents are not rejected by their children. Rejection of an abusive parent tends to occur during adolescence, suggesting that around 25-30% of cases involve parents who claim rejection without reason are themselves abusive.
In certain scenarios, both parents may exhibit pathological behavior, necessitating a comprehensive treatment plan.
Utilizing diagnostic indicators and clinical signs of AB-PA can assist in recognizing issues related to the separation history, demanding evaluation by experienced psychologists.
Diagnostic Indicators
The presence of 3 diagnostic indicators indicates pathogenic parenting, resulting in a child’s rejection of a loving parent. These symptoms are not found in cases where the rejected parent is abusive.
1. Attachment System Suppression
A complete cutoff of a child from a healthy parent suggests narcissistic parenting from the other parent, leading to emotional detachment.
2. Personality Disorder Symptoms
Qualities like grandiosity, lack of empathy, entitlement, arrogance, and splitting manifest in children aligned with NPD/BPD parents.
3. Delusional Belief System
A child wrongly holds the belief that they are being abused by the rejected parent, justifying their rejection and causing long-term psychological harm.
Childress argues that addressing AB-PA is essential as it constitutes child psychological abuse requiring intervention to prevent future relational issues.
Associated Clinical Signs (ACS)
In addition to diagnostic indicators, other clinical signs comprise empowering child rejection, exclusion demands, parental replacement, unforgivable event rationales, accusations of lying or fakeness, and themes for rejection.
- Controlling parent
- Angry parent
- Parent neglects child due to new relationship
- Lack of time spent with child before divorce
- Child rejects parent due to past event
- Child claims targeted parent doesn’t adequately feed them
ACS-8: Unwarranted Use of the Term “Abuse” The term “abuse” is socially provocative and often overused by individuals with borderline personalities. People not affected by this disorder typically use less inflammatory terms like “mean,” “cruel,” or “rude.”
ACS-9: Excessive Texting & Phone Calls The allied parent and child excessively communicate during the child’s time with the targeted parent.
ACS-10: Role-Reversal Use of the Child The child is depicted as making independent decisions that align with the desires of the allied parent.
ACS-11: “Deserves” to be Rejected The child portrays the targeted parent as deserving rejection due to parental shortcomings.
ACS-12: Disregard of Court Orders The allied parent frequently ignores court orders, influencing the child to do the same.
Diagnosis
Childress refers to the DSM-5 and ICD-10 in diagnosing cases involving emotional and behavioral symptoms triggered by identifiable stressors.
Document: DSM-5
Code: 309.4 Adjustment Disorder with mixed disturbance of emotions and conduct
Document: DSM-5
Code: V61.20 (Z62.820) Parent-Child Relational Problem
Document: DSM-5
Code: V61.29 (Z62.898) Child Affected by Parental Relationship Distress
Document: DSM-5
Code: V995.51 (Z62.898)Child Psychological Abuse, Confirmed
ICD-10
Code: F24 Induced delusional disorder
Childress asserts that AB-PA constitutes child psychological abuse and Intimate Partner Violence.
‘The core of Intimate Partner Violence is power, control, and domination.’
Dr. C. A. Childress 2019
How should AB-PA be treated?
AB-PA necessitates specialized treatment to prevent further harm to the child. Childress proposes a 4-phase reunification plan:
- Rescue the Child (Protective Separation): Remove child from NPD/BPD parent to avoid harm.
- Recover the Child’s Self-authenticity: Aid child in understanding brainwashing techniques.
- Restoration of the Parent-Child Relationship: Reestablish the attachment bond.
- Reintroduce the Pathology of the NPD/BPD Parent: Monitor interactions and encourage shared parenting.
Validating the child’s feelings enables the pathology. Therapy is advised for parents, and specialized treatment is critical for cases involving emotional cutoffs.
The High Road to Reunification workshop by Dorcy Pruter and training programs at CCI are recommended for addressing child resistance to co-parenting. Refer to Solutions to Restore Child/Parent relationships for further details.
Understanding a child who rejects a parent: lessons for legal people – part one
Recently, we have been revamping our website and brainstorming valuable advice for parents facing rejection from their children. I’ve been attempting to view the situation from the perspective of professionals working with alienated parents, such as school personnel, GPs, and legal experts. This exploration involves scrutinizing their training, beliefs, and assumptions about children, aiding in the understanding of the causes of rejection and the importance of addressing it. For legal professionals seeking research evidence, Richard Warshak’s work on parental alienation myths can provide insights. Additionally, those interested in psychological splitting in children can find more information here. Peer-reviewed research is available for skeptics of parental alienation. Legal professionals investigating case law related to parental alienation in the UK can access relevant judgments. For those involved with separated families who may doubt parental alienation, exploring these resources can foster a better understanding of the issue and guide actions in the children’s best interests. The Children Act 1989 underscores the importance of prioritizing children’s well-being. Neglecting a child’s rejection of a parent does not serve their best interests. Professionals working with affected families must grasp parental alienation issues to effectively support children.
Hi Karen, what a coincidence! I’ve been delving into neuroscience research and brain development for my dissertation as well. It’s intriguing how conventional wisdom assumes adolescents possess adult-like abilities at a time when significant brain restructuring is occurring. Despite this research being available for 15 years, legal discourse often overlooks it. Essential to any debate on capacity and the consideration of children’s wishes and feelings is data that challenges conventional beliefs. Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to alienation, yet some commentators cling to outdated information that aligns with their agendas, disregarding newer research. Sir James Munby underscores the necessity for “expert” reports to encompass evaluations of alternative viewpoints. Alienation poses a risk to a new generation, potentially affecting up to 140,000 children annually. Legal gaps must be closed to safeguard children and families impacted by alienation.
The neurobiological harm inflicted on developing children is disheartening. I haven’t seen my 24-year-old daughter since she was 11. My ex-partner maliciously poisoned my relationship with my daughter before her 10th birthday. The emotional toll on these children is tragic, but we hope lessons can be learned from these experiences.
My son has distanced himself from me and refuses to communicate. His mother suggests therapy, but often it exacerbates the situation. Personal encounters have taught me that love knows no conditions. Your daughter likely acknowledges your sentiments but struggles with conflicting emotions.
Karen, you must have walked many miles in others’ shoes! Thank you for shedding light on child alienation. It’s a complex topic requiring training and empathy from the judiciary and professionals. Many specialists lack a deeper sense of purpose and meaning in their work.
Thank you for your input, Karen. It’s important to acknowledge that dealing with parental alienation or implacable hostility goes beyond surface level. Cafcass has put in place systems to assess its impact, such as the ‘Impact of Parental Conflict’ tool and ‘Coached Children Knowledge Bite’. Staff are encouraged to reference Dr. Kirk Weir’s research, which highlights the importance of looking beyond a child’s words to understand the true situation. Emphasis is placed on listening to ‘the voice of the child’ and understanding the genuine feelings of the child. It is essential for practitioners to connect all the pieces together, analyze the history of the relationship, recognize extreme behaviors, comprehend psychological manipulations, and be ready to handle difficult situations. Contact orders often do not produce desired results, recommendations are ignored, and children are left feeling neglected. The current system fails to acknowledge its shortcomings and redirects complaints internally, believing it has the necessary training and protections in place. Children and families suffer as a result every day. There is some hope found in works like the documentary produced by PACT and Lady Catherine Meyer’s bravery in sharing her own experiences. Victims of parental alienation can be viewed as ‘abducted’ in a different sense. Our own legal system has struggled to see the truth and facilitate reunification. After experiencing years of ignorance from so-called ‘professionals,’ your understanding of severe alienation brings a sense of optimism. Unfortunately, this understanding is not widespread. In the United States, there is a lack of awareness surrounding parental alienation. Thank you for your efforts in supporting children and offering hope for future generations.