During the preschool years, children form social connections by interacting with parents, siblings, teachers, and classmates through sharing and showing toys or objects.
Sharing involves presenting objects to others, making eye contact, and waiting for a response. On the other hand, showing includes displaying objects in search of a positive reaction before continuing play.
Some children may struggle with sharing due to a lack of social skills or understanding of social cues. They may have difficulty recognizing when to share or how to engage with others in a positive way.
It is important for parents and caregivers to teach children the importance of sharing and how to effectively communicate and interact with others. Encouraging positive social interactions and providing opportunities for practice can help children develop the necessary skills to make friends and build strong relationships.
Symptoms of Poor Sharing and Showing in Children
- Engaging in independent play: when a child prefers solitary activities over playing with others
- Participating in solo play: engaging with toys but not necessarily sharing with others
- Offering items without interaction: giving toys or snacks without expecting a response
- Seeking comfort from a parent: looking for physical comfort without social interaction
- Showing interest in objects over interaction: enjoying activities without considering others
Sharing and Showing Across Childhood Development
Youth connect with peers by sharing insights and treats, focusing on conversations, and enhancing social relationships through sharing and showing skills.
With teens, engaging in more dialogue and checking for connections is essential for social development, promoting shared enjoyment and bonding.
As children develop, their ability to share and show becomes more sophisticated. Young children may engage in parallel play, where they play alongside each other without interacting much. As they grow older, they start to engage in cooperative play, where they work together towards a common goal.
Sharing and showing are not only important for social development but also for developing empathy and understanding of others’ perspectives. By sharing their experiences and thoughts, children can learn to see things from different points of view and appreciate the diversity of opinions and ideas.
Parents and caregivers can support children’s sharing and showing skills by modeling these behaviors themselves and providing opportunities for children to practice them. Encouraging children to talk about their day, share their toys, or show how they feel can help them develop strong social connections and communication skills.
Causes of Poor Sharing and Showing in Childhood
If a child fails to share and show objects with eye contact and interest, it might indicate social delays such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).
ASD
Children with ASD may struggle with social communication, preferring solitary activities and showing less awareness of others’ interests. It’s crucial to assess social reciprocity for signs of developmental differences like autism in younger children.
In addition to ASD, other factors such as a lack of social skills development, shyness, or a lack of exposure to social situations can also contribute to poor sharing and showing behaviors in childhood. It’s important for parents and caregivers to provide ample opportunities for children to practice social interactions and sharing in order to foster healthy social development.
What to Do about Poor Sharing and Showing in Early Childhood
To foster social connections and build relationships, encourage children to share and show objects with joy.
Here are some DOs for working on shared enjoyment
Engage in playful activities with warmth and touch: show interest in the child’s favorite games and explore shared enjoyment together.
Encourage shared interests by exploring new activities: broaden social experiences from familiar to diverse interests for mutual enjoyment.
Introduce peer interactions through shared playdates: initiate cooperative play with friends to enhance social skills.
Offer a mix of play at home for diverse experiences: plan for family time, downtime, and cooperative activities, using timers for activity transitions.
When to Seek Help
Observe your child’s social engagement when sharing toys or treats to assess social skills and consider seeking professional help if necessary.
- Check for social interactions and cooperative play with your child
- Seek professional evaluation for developmental concerns
Early intervention can improve social development through specialized techniques like ABA therapy.
Here are some signs that may indicate you should seek professional help for your child’s social skills:
- Difficulty making or maintaining friendships
- Lack of interest in socializing with peers
- Limited communication skills or difficulty expressing emotions
- Struggles with taking turns or sharing during play
It’s important to address any concerns early on to help your child develop strong social skills and improve their overall well-being.
Professional Resources on Sharing and Showing
- Evaluate psychologist: assess social skills and provide treatment recommendations
- BCBA and ABA therapy team: offer behavior management with proven effectiveness
- Social group therapy: assist in social skill development
- Speech pathologist: focus on social language skills
- School psychologist: support social interaction at school
- Child find: Evaluate young children with social skills delay, offering free preschool and therapies, and testing psychologists for autism evaluation
Similar Conditions to Sharing and Showing
- Social presence: Comfortable being around other children
- Cooperative play: Engaging in cooperative play, taking turns, and allowing others to choose activities
- Shared enjoyment: Finding joy in interactions with family and friends
- Reciprocal conversation: Engaging in conversations with listening, sharing, and asking questions
- Varied interests vs. Restricted: Discussing diverse interests versus limited interests
- Lacking pretend play: Absence of engaging in make-believe play
Additional Resources on Friendship Challenges in Children:
For parents looking for more information and support on helping their children make friends, the following resources can be beneficial:
- Check out “Raising Socially Savvy Children” by Bonnie Harris for practical tips and advice on teaching social skills to children.
- Visit the Child Mind Institute website at www.childmind.org for articles and resources on children’s social development and friendship building.
- Consider consulting a child psychologist or therapist who specializes in social skills training for children to address specific challenges your child may be facing.
Remember, every child is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to friendship challenges. With patience, understanding, and support, your child can develop the skills needed to form meaningful relationships with their peers.
1. Lack of social and communication skills
Children must develop social skills to navigate relationships and establish friendships
Non Verbal Communication
Difficulty with social cues can affect relationships with peers
Children with communication disorders may struggle with verbal communication
Verbal Communication
Social skill deficiencies may lead to conversational issues with others
Children with ADHD and Autism may find verbal communication challenging
2. Shyness and anxiety
Children may exhibit introverted or extroverted tendencies
Shyness
Shyness can result in anxiety during social situations. It is a feeling of discomfort or apprehension in social settings, often stemming from a lack of confidence or fear of judgment.
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is more intense than shyness and may lead to fear of rejection and avoidance of social situations. Individuals with social anxiety may experience physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, or rapid heartbeat when faced with social interactions.
It is important to recognize and address shyness and social anxiety in children to provide support and help them develop coping strategies. Encouraging social interactions in a safe and supportive environment, building self-confidence through positive reinforcement, and seeking professional help if necessary can all be beneficial in managing shyness and social anxiety.
3. Response to differences
Differences in interests, appearance, culture, or background can contribute to children’s difficulties in making friends
4. Parental influence
Parental influence plays a role in how children respond to differences
Overprotective parenting
Overprotective parenting can hinder social skill development and promote dependency
Positive social behaviour
Children learn social skills from peers, parents, and role models
How to help your child make friends
Explore strategies to help children make friends and develop social skills
Help your child learn social skills
Encourage active listening, expressing feelings, role-playing, problem-solving, and empathy development
Teach kindness, good manners, politeness, and respect for differences
Make social interactions less intimidating
Encourage inclusive games, one-on-one playdates, and group activities based on shared interests
Offer emotional support
Maintain open communication with your child, praise social efforts, and gradually expose them to challenging social situations
When to seek professional help
If a child struggles with making friends, they may benefit from additional support. In cases of anxiety, consulting a therapist could be helpful. For children showing signs of autism-related traits and challenges with social cues, an autism assessment may be necessary for tailored support. If impulsive behavior impacts a child’s friendships with signs of ADHD, considering a child ADHD assessment could be beneficial.
If concerns arise about potential bullying or exclusion due to differences, collaborating with the school, teachers, and caregivers is crucial to provide support and protection.
Ready to book an assessment?
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It is important to remember that seeking professional help is nothing to be ashamed of. Getting the right support can make a significant difference in a child’s social and emotional development. Remember, early intervention is key to addressing any challenges a child may be facing.